I've Lost My Roommate

I am Joram and I've lost my roommate. No, really. For the last few weeks, she's been spending most if not all of her free time at some friends' place. Sure, it started out at a few hours a nights for a couple nights out of the week, but now it's every night.
-They seem to have plenty of fun, well, I assume that's why she always return. I on the other hand, am usually stuck behind a computer.
-She's mentioned that the two guys hate their third roommate, so it'd be perfect if they could replace that third roommate with my roommate.
-They cook her meals, which my roommate have asked me in the past, but refused.
-I follow sports, especially since it's been bowl season and playoffs. She's meh about it, just like her friends, they don't watch sports.
-I always make a mess in the kitchen, and I know that keeping the sink and counter top clean is one of her peeves.
-At the guys' place, her commute to work would be reduced to "just down the road".
Then yesterday, she came home with a box, A BOX! It's only a matter of time before she pulls a Phoebe and starts moving out one item at a time. Well, I guess I better start looking for a roommate that likes video games and cats. Yeah, that's right, I'm keeping the cat!


Satire? Or I have abandonment issues.